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a few oneliners question is funny or not?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. OK, so what's the speed of dark? Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance. I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. What we could really use is the separation of Bush and state. Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose. If you can't read this, you're illiterate. It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. He who hesitates is boss. As they say at the Planned Parenthood Clinic, better late than never

Public Comments

1. Oooooold.... Tiiiiiiired..... Read them too often on here as actual questions. Move on, it's the 21st century!
2. alot of questions with alot of means
3. Well i thought it was funny!!! lol
4. heard some B4 but stillgood!
5. ha ha ha funny thanks for a laugh
6. ...not really funny. kinda stupid.
7. Ha ha ha.!!! You're Best ones today Chris.!!! 10/10.!!! Got me laughing here, I've printed them for the Pub tonight.!! Cheers mate.!!!
8. brilliant i don't care what anyone else say i love hahahahahahaha funny no , very funny yes
9. hahahahahahahahahahaha.... hahahahahahahahaha.... hahahahahahahahahahaha... hahahahahahahahaha... hahahahahahahaha....
10. wow a lot but i read all of them super duper funny!!!
11. Lmao. very good
12. OOOOHHHHH TOOOO FUNNNIE!!!! LOL!!!!! ;)
13. Hi Chris, Hehehehehe... I love these you put me in a good mood and I needed that.. A Star A Friend, poppy1
14. Very funny, If you can't read this, you're illiterate is the funniest one.
15. ''I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.'' OMG!!! My boss says that one all the time lolz! He's a funny beggar! lolz!
16. Funny, thanks, star.