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Chuck Norris Jokes!?

1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 3.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. 4.Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 5.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 6.Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. 7.If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list. 8.Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" 9.If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. 10.Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility. 11.Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father. 12.Chuck Norris does not go hunting. The word hunting implies a possible failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 13.Peyton Manning can throw a touch down pass 60 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Peyton Manning even farther.

Public Comments

1. hmmm . . . . a little silly, I think.
2. Jokes? I see no jokes... I see facts.
3. When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for chuck norris.
4. LMAO.. yea.. u better be scared of him "Chuck Norris is the Anti Christ" hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha good one.. thanx for sharing
5. Thanks. That's the funniest thing I read all week!
6. ha ha ,nice one it should have been CHUCKLE NORRIS!!!!
7. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Tornadoes hide in ditches from Chuck Norris.
8. Chuck Norris is a big old softie. Did you see that episode of Walker when his girlfriend got shot? He spen he next couple of episodes in a state of quiet contemplation, with a really maudlin soundtrack to boot. I think it did him a world of good. Unfortunately she survived.
9. Funny! Type "google chuck norris" on google, and choose "i'm feeling lucky"
10. lmao!!! i kno only 2 chuck norris jokes. but you nailed it!! hilarious. i got one. BEHIND CHUCK NORRIS BEARD IS NOT A CHIN, ITS ANOTHER FIST! CHUCK NORRIS DOESNT DO PUSH-UPS, HE PUSHES THE WORLD DOWN! and the rest, i dont kno, but FOR SURE my friend knows Plenty of those jokes.