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what do you make of this??

my boyfriend of 6 yrs is doing 2 much drinking with the boys.taking half days at work/playing poker/pool and drinking.i know there is no third party as we are always in contact, he has alot of male friends who ring him every night regarding poker/horse bets etc...we split up for 2 months over his habits..now he is back, but 4 weeks into our new fresh start he is at it again.should i give up??

Public Comments

1. he didn't change last time, what makes you think he will change now? Gambling and Alcohol are two addictions that have ruined many a marriage, so deal with it before you guys get married and have kids.
2. Give up gal... pleez help me out http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj3CQa0hkYxSDgjipPvtfOfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080710070425AAmKQQz
3. give up. trust me, if you are not sure by now, he is NOT the right one. is he really someone you want to be with??? i'd guess not. Good Luck with that.
4. drop him... shop around girl..
5. Yes, give up. Walk away and don't look back. He had a chance to change and blew it.
6. try talking to him. Tell him taht if he doesnt stop those habits you are leaving... if he doesnt change and you dont like those habits i would
7. sorry but i think you need to give up and start fresh with a new guy. :-(
8. nowone can answer this except you trust your instincts will he always be like this ? is he worth it? would he change his ways for you?
9. yes of course but first let him make a choose if leave his bad habits or you will lost him let him decide if cant so its time to give up
10. Yep. 'fraid so. He has addictions and will need serious help to get past them, but only if he wants to - which doesn't seem to be the case.
11. Sounds like this is an addiction. This will be an issue for him his whole life since it's gone this far. The only way it will change is if he wants to change. That doesn't appear to be the case. Ask yourself......Do I want to deal with this forever?
12. Talk to him about it! If you do not like it, and you truly love each other, you will talk and understand. Maybe the solution wont be that he stops drinking, but maybe that he goes out once a week, instead of once every five seconds. Good luck!
13. if you cant deal with this then yes you should. maybe you could go with him, enjoy it? but youve known him for over 6 years so you should know this aint gonna end just like that.
14. Like I always say, a Tiger doesn't change it's stripes. The best you could do is tell him the reason you broke up before was because of his bad habits and if he doesn't change for the better after hearing that then leave and find someone who will value your presence! If things weren't going to change then quit while you are ahead...the worst would be going on with this 10 years down the line and realize that you have been wasting your time and energy.
15. Oh... well... since you broke up in the first place I'm pretty sure you've talked to him about his habits and told him how much you hate what he's doing and how he's acting. You should let him know that he should at least be more concerned with his job, if he lost that what would you two do? See if he's concerned about this, if he wants to invest in your common future or if he only wants to feel good for himself. If the latter is the case, you should definitely find someone better.
16. be one of the boys or dump him. look at the scenario he wont change not after 6 years, your wasting your life go and find someone who will appreciate you. x
17. well whenever he is around go out with some of your girl friends then he will hopefully relize how you feel about him doing that and if he doesnt hes not right for you hope i helped
18. tell him that you don't want a guy who behaves like this. to want to hang out with your buddies and have fun is understandable so give him one or two nights per week that he can do this. it is only fair to you to spend time with you also. if he can't, he is not ready for a commitment and should wait til he "sews his wild oats"
19. While it's understandable that you want him to change his bad habits, it's unlikely he'll do it until he either chooses to do so for himself, or until he realizes he's losing you because of it. You can't change him unless he wants to, but you must protect yourself. You could spend a lot of restless days and nights worrying about him, or you could stand up for yourself and say "Enough is enough." If you're already split up over this, and it didn't work the first time, then it's most likely not going to work the second time. Sit him down for one last long, SOBER talk and tell him how concerned you are about him and about your relationship, how things have not changed, and how you must protect yourself because there are important things for you to do with your life. Give him suggestions of resources where he can go for help, or think of many new and different things you can do together to keep him away from drinking, but if those things don't work, you've got to do what's best for you.
20. Some of the questions you should to be asking are: Is this a phase he will pass through or something which he will continue with throughout his life?; Is there a history of alcohol abuse in his family?; Do you want this type of behavior in a man who is in your life? After all, you ALREADY broke up over this for a couple of months. If he has gone back to this behavior after ONLY 4 weeks then how likely is he to change for the better? He has become complacent about your relationship as evidenced by the very short time his "fresh start'" good behavior period lasted. There is an old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Perhaps you ought to apply this to your thinking. Luck.
21. I have a gambling and drinking problem and it has affected all of my past relationships. Even when one of my partners would challenge me on it, I would deny it. I hit rock bottom a few months ago and have now got help for it. My advice would be to sit your guy down and gently talk to him about whats happening. Tell him how it makes you feel and that you are worried about him.Tell him you will support him if he needs to get help. If he is still unresponsive to this, you may want to consider separating, as addictions ruin relationships. just remember why you were with him in the first place and that he may genuinely need your help. I hope this helps. Best wishes.