How to Play Poker Videos

Why is Kentucky against Poker but allow horse race betting? They say that playing poker is gambling. That there is too much chance in it. Well, why in the heck do they allow horse betting? Seems you have 0% chance to affect the outcome. Seems 100% chance. At least Poker does have some skill, otherwise how can someone win tournaments more than 1 time. I am confused by why they allow one and not the other? Thanks for any clarification you all can provide.

Poker Survey!? I love poker, i'd love to see everyones results, feel free to contact me. I play on full tilt. e-mail is J0k3r_Dice@yahoo.com See ya at the tables. Name? Age? Email? How Long Have You Been Playing Poker? Favorite Poker Pro? Favorite Poker Video Game? Favorite Poker Movie? Favorite Poker Site? Fav Chip Trick? Which Do You Prefer... Pot Limit/ Limit/ N/L / Or Other? Do You Prefer To Play Poker Online Or Social Interaction? Fav Game Type? Game Playing Types Ring Game Tournament Fav Game? Variations Of Poker Texas Hold 'Em Omaha Razz Stud Horse/Mixed Game Other? Playing & Betting Style? Loose-Passive Loose-Aggresive Tight-Passive Tight-Aggresive I appreciate the time, and hope to talk to you all soon.

On line poker to be banned? 70 million amercans play poker, and our representatives have decided for us that there will be no more playing online. How preposterous is it that poker will be banned, but horse race gambling will still be allowed over the web? I was raised with the impression that in a free society, Adults can do as they please as long as they do not injure others. Anything short of this is not a free society. If we want to smoke, drink, gamble, be promiscuous..isnt that our own business? Who does government think they are? This countrty was founded by folks that did not want some one else's version of so called 'morality' rammed down thier throats by government.

Should Online Poker Be Banned? The House of Representatives voted on Tuesday to ban online gambling including poker and casino games. However the same bill excluded online lotteries, horse racing, dog racing and various fantasy sports betting. Given that an estimated 23 million Americans enjoy online poker, and in a recent poll 90% of Amerians do not think playing poker should be restricted, how do you feel about what our politicians are trying to do? The new law will also force ISPs to disable hyper links to gambling web sites, which is technically pretty impossible. It will also allow for intrusive controls over what an American may use their bank accounts and credit cards for. In other words the government is deciding how you can spend your money. This new law will cost the American tax payer $4.3Bn in lost revenue and will not protect anyone. Regulation and taxation is by far the better way to go. What do people think about this wholesale errosion of our rights as Americans?

Are there any online poker sites where you can play PL or NL HORSE? Just saw the WSOP 2006 HORSE tournament. They were playing NL hold em at the final table.

Play money horse racing? Are there any sites where you can use play chips to bet on real horse races or other sporting events? Like play money poker, only sports gambling....

in poker, what games make up horse? what poker games are played at the world series of poker in horse

When men and women become over 40 why is it men seem to become more intimidated with women 40 and up.? I have noticed that in my younger days I often enjoyed, discussing various topics of every day issues with peers. As I left the teen years-the 20's-the 30's-the 40's-I found that men gradually became less and less involved with the joy of mental sparing with a lady. They prefer to sit in a smokey room with other men, playing poker--or betting on horses or football or debating the pros and cons of the Republicans or Democrats while surfing the T.V. for the Playboy channel. Also 50 year old divorced and single guys are always wanting to hook up with ladies 25 to 39. That are of course in the perfect shape ,hair, and, eyes. Do the 50 and up guys know that younger woman will not stick around very long after the first meeting, unless their future could be financially secure. The majority of younger woman will only be interested in what HE will be doing for THEM. When he is sick ,she will be out the door. We ALL age, and will need to be around someone that will be there,--- better or worse.

How innocent are YOU? Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% innocent. 01. Smoked 02. Drank alcohol 03. Cried when someone died. 04. Been drunk. 05. Had sex. 06. Been to a concert. 07. Gotten/given a hand job. 08. Been verbally/sexually harassed. 09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody. 11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up. 12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose . 13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before. 14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend. 15. Been to prom. 16. Cried at school. 17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store. 18. Went streaking. 19. Given or received a lap dance. 20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 95 21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over. 22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house. 23. Kissed a stranger. 24. Hugged a stranger. 25. Went scuba diving. 26. Driven a car. 27. Gotten an x-ray. 28. Hit by a car. 29. Had a party. 30. Done drugs. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86% 31. Played strip poker/darts/pool. 32. Got paid to strip for someone. 33. Run away from home. 34. Broken a bone. 35. Eaten sushi. 36. Bought porn. 37. Watched porn. 38. Made porn. 39. made beans. 40. Been in love. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82% 41. French kissed. 42. Laughed so hard you cried. 43. Cried yourself to sleep. 44. Laughed yourself to sleep. 45. Stabbed yourself. 46. Shot a gun. 47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day. 48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours. 49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours. 50. Watched an animal die. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82% 51. Watched a person die. 52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present. 53. Pranked somebody. 54. Put somebody in the hospital. 55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out. 56. made spicy beans. 57. Dressed punk. 58. Dressed Goth. 59. Dressed preppy . 60. Been to a motocross race. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80% 61. Avoided somebody. 62. Been stalked. 63. Stalked someone. 64. Met celebrity. 65. Played an instrument. 66. Ridden a horse. 67. Cut yourself. 68. Bungee jumped. 69. Ding dong ditched somebody. 70. Been to a wild party. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 74% 71. Been caught stealing something. 72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls. 73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend. 74. Gone out with your friend's crush . 75. Got arrested. 76. Been pregnant. 77. Babysat. 78. Been to another country. 79. Started your house on fire. 80. Had an encounter with a ghost. PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 72% 81. Donated your hair to cancer patients. 82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by. 83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex. 84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months. 85. Sat on your butt all day. 86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself. 87. Had a job. 88. Gotten cut from a sports team. 89. Been called a whore. 90. Danced like a whore . PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 68% 91. Been mistaken for a celebrity. 92. Been in a car accident. 93. Been told you have beautiful eyes. 94. Been told you have beautiful hair. 95. Raped somebody. 96. Danced in the rain. 97. Been rejected. 98. Left a restaurant without paying. 99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face. 100. Been raped. TOTAL: I am 63% innocent

Dream poker table? Pick 6 players to play at any poker table and you get front seats. My picks would be: 1. Daniel Negreanu 2. Phil Ivey 3. Tony G 4. Barry Greenstein 5. John Juanda 6. Joseph Hachem I realize Hachem is probably less skilled than the others, but I happen to really really like his style of play. The game would be HORSE. What are your picks? Also, what would the game be?

Is it me or is there something not right with this picture? I have a question to ask, is it me or is there something not right with this picture? I go with this lady that’s 47 years old she has two sons (half bothers) one is 28 years old and one is 22 years old, neither has been sick and both healthy as horse’s. She has been married 5 times she’s been divorce just a little over a year with the 5th one. She’s a great lady to be around and I really care for her. Now, a little about myself I’m 48 years old and been married twice. The lady and I have been seeing each other for 7 months. Here’s the thing, she has what I call a normal mother and son relationship with the 22 year old son. ( I get along real good with both boy’s.) Now when it comes to the 28 year old son, I have to scratch my head in question? He’s not married but he does have a girl friend that he lives with at her mothers house, they have a daughter and one on the way. His girl friend works all the time and he has work just one month out of the 7 month’s I have known him (his mom wanted him to come to work at her job) but he does start a new job tomorrow (and it not with his mother but, she going to take him shopping tonight for new work clothes). He’s big into sports and loves to play poker, so that leaves his mother baby sitting 2-3 nights a week so he can play poker and if she don’t want to baby sit he gets mad and start’s saying thing like you don’t care about your granddaughter and other things to make her feel bad and guilty (and it works). Because if we are out doing something it has to stop and we go back to her house. If he’s not playing poker with his friends he’s at her house laying around, so we have 1 maybe 2 nights alone a week. They call each other 6-10 times a day, she goes to see him a lot on her lunch break and when see gets off work she’s goes see him for 1 to 1-1/2 hours at a time or to pick him up to come to her house, she wants them to move in with her if she had the room. She has 2 pictures of her 22 year old son in the house and around 6-7 pictures of the 28 year old and one of them was on her dresser facing her bed, until I asked about it. I have notice, just like the night before I’m sitting on the love seat by myself and her and her 28 year old son sitting on the couch she’s rubbing his arm and playing with a brace lace on his wrist, they also horse play and sometimes she just act real silly (like a star struck teenager) with him. They have little arguments like a husband and wife would have. Tonight the three of use are going to grill out, his choice. This woman has never ask me what I would like to have for dinner, when she cooks its for him and it’s his choice of food. If she not cooking for him, it eat out for her and me. I really felt bad for other other son last week, we was grilling out and he showed up on his dinner break from work and she didn’t even ask him to come and it’s like that a lot. Well, this woman really cares a lot about me and she show it, she wants me around all the time and she wants us to be together (she wants to move in with me….maybe, because I have a bigger house and her son can move in with us ...LOL.) But really is this normal behavior between a mother and son? I know my bother and I didn’t have it with our mother, and I have all daughter’s. So tell me, is it me or is there something not right with this picture?

Am I being unreasonable? My husband and I have been married for a year now. Eversince we've met he knows that I hate gambling and as a couple we have argued a lot of times about it. The thing is he promised me lot of times that he's not gonna gamble anymore and he still keeps doing it. He plays poker, he bets horse race and sports. He doesn't do it often but my point is he promised that he's gonna stop. We just argued about this two weeks ago and now he did it again today. He's working two jobs, one more reason why I'm mad is because I know he's tired and he doesn't have enough rest and he still affords to waste his time gambling than resting or spending time with me. I understand he needs a break but he's abusing his health. What should I do? I'm not talking to him right now. And I'm planning to give him a cold shoulder for as long as I could so he learns his lesson.

who would you like to see at the final table of the $50k horse? as of the players remaining right now, on dinner break of day 3, who would you like to see make it? my personal picks: gabe kaplan barry greenstein mike matusow daniel negreanu phil hellmuth freddy deeb justin bonomo greg raymer there would be an interesting dynamic with kaplan, matusow, and hellmuth, and people like barry and freddy are good for a comment here or there...i want to see bonomo play, he seems to be a top-notch player who has taken a lot of heat for effectively cheating at online poker and i want to see how good he is, and i want to see raymer because he has taken heat for his ability to actually play, and i want to get a feel for how good he is at all the games

what do you make of this?? my boyfriend of 6 yrs is doing 2 much drinking with the boys.taking half days at work/playing poker/pool and drinking.i know there is no third party as we are always in contact, he has alot of male friends who ring him every night regarding poker/horse bets etc...we split up for 2 months over his habits..now he is back, but 4 weeks into our new fresh start he is at it again.should i give up??

How do you lead a balanced life? I'm 26. I work for a bank and I'm very good at my job and I like what I do and where I'm headed in my career. I only have one good friend whom I've known since I was 13, he is engaged and will be moving out of the city where I live. I get bored and lonely outside of work. When this happens, I usually play online poker or rent a movie. I've gone on a few dates the past few months, through online dating, most of which I've shot myself in the foot, got too anxious. I like running, but I haven't done it in a few weeks. Obviously, I need to get back on the horse here. I just get nervous with the women. I know I'm a great guy, but at some point in time, if not the first than the second or third date I put so much pressure on myself and I get this overwhelming feeling in my head that I just need to do anything to relieve it. This is where the shooting in the foot comes in. I just want some tricks and advice. Please no relax, or see a shrink, or wake the ..... up type comments.

Horseplay.......? Why do they call it "horseplay"? Do horses play? If so, when a person is "horseplaying" does he or she play like a horse? Does a horse "peopleplay"? Haha, I can see horses playing Xbox and Poker! This, I often ponder.....

Poll: Would You Rather.....? A) Cruise around with a Horse B) Play Golf with a Shark C) Swim with a Panda D) Play Poker with a Scorpion E) Sleep with a Tiger F) Sit on a Snake Please provide a reason for the answer you have carefully chosen.

Poker for omaha and no limit? is it better to learn different type of poker games to improve your play? I've been playing no limit holdem for awhile and try to improve as much as possible, recently i switch to omaha and try to learn others as well, such as horse, but it only get worst, should I just keep sticking to what I know (no limit holdem), Is there anyone who actually only play holdem and nothing else and succeed at it. Is it a bad idea to only play at one type of poker? Other than no limit I can't play anything else and I was wondering if anyone have the same problems?

I dreamt I was taking a long drive, no particular place. I looked at the lever to change & saw a royal flush? A strange dream .. I was driving but didnt know where I was going to. The car was manual gear and when I changed gear I looked down at the lever and saw cards, a royal flush in descending order. What does this mean. Im experiencing some financial difficulties at the moment and maybe this dream meant I needed to play poker or something to get out of it. Or, that the sequential numbers mean something in Lotto winnings, horse races .. somehow Im interpreting it as a WIN of some sort. Can anyone help me out???

Why are bad hands rewarded constantly, and river suckouts on Full Tilt? I play in Casino's throughout Vegas, Louisiana, and New Jersey, and can't believe how unrealistic the outcomes are on Full Tilt. I've written FT and they give me the lame excuse that it's due to seeing so many more hands online. I say horse dung. FT seems to choose a person and spoonfeed them hand after hand. Their results are far from real. Also, I've read some previous comments from FT employees and they say it's due to bad playing and number of hands. Hogwash. If that's true, then why do 75% of the people you talk to on FT see the same thing? I only play freeplay as there is no way I'd play for real money after seeing their outlandish outcomes. I wouldn't dare risk a penny of my money on their site. I guess they feed the bad players to get them lulled into thinking they are good so they will move into real play. I've never seen so many terrible hands awarded with a 5% chance suckout. I have no intention of playing their Lotto Poker for real money. How many others see this?

How wet is normal? My roomate and I had the two girls in the apartment next to us over and we dared them to play a game of strip poker with us. After some drinks they agreed and we gathered around our table to play. Long story short, my roomate ended up completely naked and both girls were in awe because he's hung like a horse. Both girls were in their underwear by then and I was winning. Before I could get them naked one of their friends calls them on their cellphone and asks them to come pick her up, so they get dressed and have to leave. After they left my roomate and I noticed that the seats of their chairs were wet and it wasn't sweat. Is it normal to get that wet?

Online gambling sites? What is a good online gambling site where I can: Play Poker Play Blackjack Play Roulette Bet on horses Bet on sports Bet on elections...

poker site? i'm after a poker site that is for free. i dont want to spend money just play for fun. any reccomendations? links would be good. also any virtual horse racing sites wud be good.

what is a good price fora ticket to a trail ride that gives you a meal? There will also be a poker run, a band will be playing, and there will be great door prizes. You have to bring your own horse.

whats heads up horse? is it poker and how do you play it?

The FACT about Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother?s womb. If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn?t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red. A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) Chuck Norris? house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized". Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday." Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around. Chuck Norris doesn?t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned. Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother?s womb. Chuck Norris can divide by zero If you thing it's good give it a star. If you don't Chuck Norris will round house kick you till you think it's GREAT.

On what Poker site do you play poker and whats your favorite game? I play on PokerStars under the name CalifNaughti and I prefer Texas Holdem, but in the last 2 days have made the Final table twice on Poker Stars. I also enjoy Omaha H/L and HORSE.

101 Chuck Norris Facts? Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother?s womb. If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn?t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red. A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) Chuck Norris? house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized". Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday." Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around. Chuck Norris doesn?t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned. Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother?s womb. Chuck Norris can divide by zero Give a star if you like these facts. If you don't you will get a round house kick to the head by Chuck. dark knight: I know Chuck Norris can give 102 fact, but he round house kicked me so hard I forgot the last one.

How to find value bets in sports and horse racing? I understand about value bets from poker, where the pot odds are better than the odds of making a winning hand, playing that over time will be consistently profitable. However how do you know when the payoff odds are higher than real odds in sports and horses? I know the public determine the odds in horses so itmight be easier I guess. Is it really possible to find value bets in sports though?

Iranian inventions! Did you know this? Now you know? http://www.pitt.edu/AFShome/s/o/sorc/public/html/iranian/BeingIranian.htm

is hell really this good? One day, a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon: Demon: Why so glum, chum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in Hell. Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more. Guy: Gee, that sounds great. Demon: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it. Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead. Guy: Golly! Demon: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table. Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before... Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs? Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean... Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay... you're already dead. Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place! Demon: You gay? Guy: Uh, no. Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays

Do you want to take a short survey? 1. Doritos or Cheetos 2.Coke or Dr. Pepper 3.oreo's or chips ahoy 4.dogs or cats 5. signing, art, dancing, guitar, piano, drums 6.Twilight or Harry Potter 7. Bella or Edward from Twilight 8. where do you live 9.mp3/mp4 or ipod 10.metal or plastic silverware 11. Edward from Twilight hot or not 12. Choir or Band 13. 60/70/80s music or other. 14. News or sports 15. Obama or McCain 16. Big brother or Sister, your choice 17. your dream job 18. your favorite movie 19. something your addicted to 20. your favorite tv show 21. strawberries or blueberries 22. pepperoni pizza or supreme pizza 23. supreme pizza or cheese pizza 24. how tall are you 25. have you ever smoked 26. how much do you weigh 27 do you know the difference between an ape and monkey 28. how long does it take for you to take a shower 29. turtles or snakes 30. snakes or salamanders 31. carrots or celery 32. what kind of haircut do you have 33. what's your hobby 34. what grades do you get 35. batman or superman 36. who's your favorite teacher 37. soda or juice 38. have you seen the new hannah montana movie 39. do you like beans 40. are you good at math 41. winter or summer 42. do you listen to rap 43. where were you born 44. do you like bacon 45. what time do you sleep 46. can you type fast 47. do you like to sing 48. peaches or banana 49. do you like swimming 50. are you happy 51. have you ever been to japan 52. how many brothers do you have 53. how many sisters do you have 54. cheetos or potato chips 55. prunes or raisins 56. what's your favorite band 57. do you like homework 58. can you fly 59. what's your favorite car 60. blonde or brunette 61. favorite cartoon 62. are your parents divorced 63. tennis or bicycling 64. do you like strawberry smoothie 65. piano or violin 66. who's your favorite actor 67. have you met anyone famous 68. what time is it where you live 69. boxers or briefs 70. apple juice or orange juice 71. favorite tv show 72. favorite bird 73. did you have eggs for breakfast 74. how many brothers do you have 75. when was the last time you ate a banana 76. when was the last time you clipped your toe nails 77. do you like mashed potatoes 78. what time do you sleep 79. skinny or fat? which one are you more of 80. how fast can you type 81. can you type faster than your uncles 82. do you like spongebob squarepants 83. cake or pie 84. biking or skateboarding 85. do you like salad 86. when was the last time you saw snow 87. what's your favorite cereal 88. salty or sweet 89. what was the highest mountain you climbed 90. how many pairs of shoes do you have 91. do you like pineapple 92. who’s your favorite villain 93. do you like basketball 94. what comic books have you bought 95. where are you right now 96. have you ever gone scuba diving 97. lemonade or apple cider 98. do you like beer 99. have you ever gone hunting 100. do you like to sing 101. snowboarding or skiing 102. what's your favorite snack 103. hamburger or pizza 104. do you like ice cream 105. have you ever rode a horse 106. do you like classical music 107. what's your favorite color 108. how long is your hair 109. is your room messy 110. favorite tv show 111. is your handwriting messy or neat 112. do you like cartoons 113. have you ever seen a panda in real life 114. do you wash the dishes 115. what elementar school did you go to 116. what's your favorite card game 117. are you tired 118. how high can you jump 119. muffin or cupcake 120. do you like dinosaurs 121. do you think aliens exist 123. are you good at math 124. have you ever gone on a diet 125. can you jump high 126. mango or guava 127. do you play guitar 128. what's your favorite holiday 129. what's your favorite disney movie 130. who's your favorite disney character 131. do you like reading 132. what's your favorite dessert 133. have you been to jamaica 134. have you ever played golf 135. do you like polar bears 136. what is your favorite song 137. do you work 138. can you rollerblade 139. have you seen the ghostbusters movie 140. do you like roller coasters 141. are you scared of spiders 142. chicken or beef 143. tomato or carrot 144. what's your birthstone 145. how much can you bench 146. jonas brothers or miley cyrus 147. do you know how to play poker 148. what was the last movie you saw in theaters 149. what's your favorite pizza topping 150. can you drive 151. do you like eating marshmallows 152. have you ever skydived 153. what do you like to drink 154. what's your shoe size 155. do you like hanson 156. who's the best teletubby 157. do you have allergies 158. what's the weirdest thing you've eaten 159. what origami can you do 160. do you like shopping 161. are you good at dancing 162. shower or bath 163. do you play video games 164. have you seen garbage pail kids 165. what's your favorite children's story 166. do you think pandas are cute 167. who

I dreamt I was taking a long drive, no particular place. I looked at the lever to change & saw a royal flush? A strange dream .. I was driving but didnt know where I was going to. The car was manual gear and when I changed gear I looked down at the lever and saw cards, a royal flush in descending order. What does this mean. Im experiencing some financial difficulties at the moment and maybe this dream meant I needed to play poker or something to get out of it. Or, that the sequential numbers mean something in Lotto winnings, horse races .. somehow Im interpreting it as a WIN of some sort. Can anyone help me out???

Online Gambling Sites? What is a good online gambling site where I can: Play Poker Play Blackjack Play Roulette Bet on horses Bet on sports Bet on elections...

FUN SURVEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Fun survey =] !!!!!!!? Here's the deal... Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Don't bother typing answers to the question....it makes it more interesting! Then repost as _% Virgin. 1. Smoked? 2. Drank alcohol? 3. Cried when someone died? 4. Been drunk? 5. Had sex? 6. Been to a concert? 7. Given a handjob/gotten a handjob? 8. Given a *******/gotten a *******? 9. Been verbally/sexually harassed? 10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up? 12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose? 13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before? 14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend? 15. Been to prom? 16. Cried at school? 17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store? 18. Went streaking? 19. Given or received a lap dance? 20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over? 22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house? 23. Kissed a stranger? 24. Hugged a stranger? 25. Went scuba diving? 26. Driven a car? 27. Gotten an x-ray? 28. Hit by a car? 29. Had a party? 30. Done serious drugs? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 31. Played strip poker/darts? 32. Got paid to strip for someone? 33. Ran away from home? 34. Broken a bone? 35. Eaten sushi? 36. Bought porn? 37. Watched porn? 38. Made porn? 39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex? 40. Been in love? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 41. French kissed? 42. Laughed so hard you cried? 43. Cried yourself to sleep? 44. Laughed yourself to sleep? 45. Stabbed yourself? 46. Shot a gun? 47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day? 48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours? 49. Been online for 9 consecutive hours? 50. Watched an animal die? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51. Watched a person die? 52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present? 53. Pranked somebody? 54. Put somebody in the hospital? 55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out? 56. Kissed somebody of the same sex? 57. Dressed punk? 58. Dressed goth? 59. Dressed preppy? 60. Been to a motocross race? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 61. Avoided somebody? 62. Been stalked? 63. Stalked someone? 64. Met a celebrity? 65. Played an instrument? 66. Ridden a horse? 67. Cut yourself? 68. Bungee jumped? 69. Ding dong ditched somebody? 70. Been to a wild party? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71. Got caught stealing something? 72. Kicked a guy in the balls? 73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend? 74. Went out with your friend's crush? 75. Got arrested? 76. Been pregnant?---FOR THE RECORD, THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME, SO IT'S NOT INCLUDED. 77. Babysat? 78. Been to another country? 79. Started your house on fire? 80. Had an encounter with a ghost? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 81. Donated your hair to cancer patients? 82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by? 83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex? 84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months? 85. Sat on your butt all day? 86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself? 87. Had a job? 88. Gotten cut from a sports team? 89. Been called a whore? 90. Danced like a whore? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 91. Been mistaken for a celebrity? 92. Been in a car accident? 93. Been told you have beautiful eyes? 94. Been told you have beautiful hair? 95. Raped somebody? 96. Danced in the rain? 97. Been rejected? 98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying? 99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face? 100. Been raped? FINAL PERCENTAGE: plz star if you guys enjoyed =] 01-10(sofar94%) 11-20(sofar81%) 21-30(sofar79%) 31-40(sofar75%) 41-50(sofar68%) 51-60(sofar62%) 61-70(sofar62%) 71-80(sofar59%) 81-90(sofar53%) 91-100(49%virgin) ginger snapz lol is that bad being a 49% virgin? guess what... i lied just do it lol

Gay one-liner hell devil jokes? A man dies and goes to Hell where he is greeted by the devil: Devil: Hey, why are you bumming out? Man: If you died and went to Hell, you''d be bumming out too. Devil: Hell isn''t what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink? Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why? Devil: Well, you''re gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you want to drink. We drink til we puke then we drink more. Man: Ah, that sounds great. Devil: Do you smoke? Man: Damn right I do. Devil: Cool! You''re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don''t have to worry about getting cancer because you''re already dead anyways. Man: No shit! Devil: You like gambling? Man: Hell yeah! Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, horse racing, you name it, we got it, and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table. Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before. Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned? Man: I love getting stoned! You mean... Devil: That''s right man, because on Thursdays, it''s stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don''t have to worry about overdosing because you''re already dead anyhow. Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place! Devil: Are you gay? Man: Uh, no. Devil: Oooh, you''re gonna hate Fridays!

Have you ever...? (20 characters)? HAVE YOU EVER...? Rode a horse Visited another country Received a parking or speeding ticket Had a swim in the ocean or the sea Rode on a loopy rollercoaster Played poker Eaten venison(deer)

100 Facts (pt. 1)? There are more cars in Southern California than there are cows in India. The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows. The province of Alberta, Canada is completely free of rats. Illinois has the most personalized license plates of any state. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows). Fleas can jump 130 times higher than their own height. In human terms this is equal to a 6 foot person jumping 780 feet into the air. Snakes are true carnivores as they eat nothing but other animals. They do not eat any type of plant material. There are no poisonous snakes in Maine. The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles. The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year. It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest. Erosion at the base of Niagara Falls (USA) undermines the shale cliffs and as a result, the falls have receded approximately 7 miles over the last 10,000 years. The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. North Dakota has never had an earthquake. Alexander Graham Bell (who invented the telephone) also set a world water-speed record of over seventy miles an hour at the age of 72. There is enough fuel in a full tank of a jumbo jet to drive an average car four times around the world. Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year. Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror. The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk. There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth. Ants do not sleep. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. Almonds are members of the peach family. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Animal Kingdom". The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle. All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split). The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs." If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy. If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles. San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move. The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years. Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too. All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers. Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring. Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run. In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long." If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born. In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores. Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals. The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy. The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side. The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol. Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro. Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth. In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed. A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting. The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body. Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed. There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia. Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts. In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs. A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage. Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights. Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch. Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option. There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one. The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit. Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series. Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication. Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it. A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined. Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas. Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist". McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling). The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail. Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government. All of Queen Anne's 17 children died before she did. There are over 87,000 Americans on waiting lists for organ transplants. American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American. A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed. Only 6% of the autographs in circulation from members of the Beatles are estimated to be real. The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually. 60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States. John Quincy Adams, sixth president of the United States, loved to skinny dip in the Potomac River. La Paz, Bolivia has an average annual temperature below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. However, it has never recorded a zero-degree temperature. Same for Stanley, Falkland Islands and Punta Arenas, Chile. 41% of Chinese people eat at least once a week at a fast food restaurant. 35% of Americans do. A Wisconsin forklift operator for a Miller beer distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper showing him drinking a Bud Light. G-rated family films earn more money than any other rating. Yet only 3% of Hollywood's output is G-rated. Richard Hatch, winner of the first "Survivor" reality series, has been charged with tax evasion for failing to report his $1,000,000 prize. The entire fleet of Unicoi County Tennessee's salt trucks was rendered out of commission in one accident. All three trucks were badly damaged when one of them began skidding down a road, causing a chain reaction accident. Officials blamed road conditions. More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million). Fast food provider Hardee's has recently introduced the Monster Thickburger. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. Sorry it's so long lol. Something to do right? And yes....PART ONE!!!! More will come....eventually...

fun survey =] !!!!!!!? Here's the deal... Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Don't bother typing answers to the question....it makes it more interesting! Then repost as _% Virgin. 1. Smoked? 2. Drank alcohol? 3. Cried when someone died? 4. Been drunk? 5. Had sex? 6. Been to a concert? 7. Given a handjob/gotten a handjob? 8. Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob? 9. Been verbally/sexually harassed? 10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up? 12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose? 13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before? 14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend? 15. Been to prom? 16. Cried at school? 17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store? 18. Went streaking? 19. Given or received a lap dance? 20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over? 22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house? 23. Kissed a stranger? 24. Hugged a stranger? 25. Went scuba diving? 26. Driven a car? 27. Gotten an x-ray? 28. Hit by a car? 29. Had a party? 30. Done serious drugs? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 31. Played strip poker/darts? 32. Got paid to strip for someone? 33. Ran away from home? 34. Broken a bone? 35. Eaten sushi? 36. Bought porn? 37. Watched porn? 38. Made porn? 39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex? 40. Been in love? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 41. French kissed? 42. Laughed so hard you cried? 43. Cried yourself to sleep? 44. Laughed yourself to sleep? 45. Stabbed yourself? 46. Shot a gun? 47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day? 48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours? 49. Been online for 9 consecutive hours? 50. Watched an animal die? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51. Watched a person die? 52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present? 53. Pranked somebody? 54. Put somebody in the hospital? 55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out? 56. Kissed somebody of the same sex? 57. Dressed punk? 58. Dressed goth? 59. Dressed preppy? 60. Been to a motocross race? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 61. Avoided somebody? 62. Been stalked? 63. Stalked someone? 64. Met a celebrity? 65. Played an instrument? 66. Ridden a horse? 67. Cut yourself? 68. Bungee jumped? 69. Ding dong ditched somebody? 70. Been to a wild party? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71. Got caught stealing something? 72. Kicked a guy in the balls? 73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend? 74. Went out with your friend's crush? 75. Got arrested? 76. Been pregnant?---FOR THE RECORD, THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME, SO IT'S NOT INCLUDED. 77. Babysat? 78. Been to another country? 79. Started your house on fire? 80. Had an encounter with a ghost? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 81. Donated your hair to cancer patients? 82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by? 83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex? 84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months? 85. Sat on your butt all day? 86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself? 87. Had a job? 88. Gotten cut from a sports team? 89. Been called a whore? 90. Danced like a whore? PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 91. Been mistaken for a celebrity? 92. Been in a car accident? 93. Been told you have beautiful eyes? 94. Been told you have beautiful hair? 95. Raped somebody? 96. Danced in the rain? 97. Been rejected? 98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying? 99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face? 100. Been raped? FINAL PERCENTAGE: plz star if u enjoyed it 01-10(sofar94%) 11-20(sofar81%) 21-30(sofar79%) 31-40(sofar75%) 41-50(sofar68%) 51-60(sofar62%) 61-70(sofar62%) 71-80(sofar59%) 81-90(sofar53%) 91-100(49%virgin) ohh snap lol is that bad being a 49% virgin?